How to Stop Shoulding Yourself On the Scale

Hello ladies, I’m Hannah Freese, a Registered Dietitian, and Certified Specialist in Weight Management and I help women over 40 repair their damaged midlife metabolisms so that they can lose weight, achieve glowing health and never stress about their weight again.

Today I’m going to be sharing How to Stop Shoulding Yourself On the Scale.

What do I mean “shoulding”? 

I mean, constantly thinking unhelpful and negative thoughts that involve what you should know, what should be, what you should have done, or what you should not have done.

Your shoulding yourself into misery.

Do you know what I’m talking about? Of course, you do. We all have this shoulding problem. 

Today’s fast-paced, highly comparative, and overly-informed environment has pushed us to new heights of all the things we “should” be doing or not doing; eating or not eating; being or not being.

I’m going to expose the three most powerful “shoulds” that you are thinking right now that are causing you more pain and sorrow than you deserve.

Shouldy Weight Loss Thought #1:

“I should know how to do this.”

You are absolutely thinking this. You absolutely think that you should know how to lose weight.  You should know how to eat perfectly.  You should know all the things.

Is that true?

This is the problem with access to too much information.  Yes, you have lots of information. But more information doesn’t mean anything unless you can sift it, organize it, and apply it usefully.

And unless you are me, a full-time specialist in weight management with an obsessive interest in all things metabolism and food, there is no way, no time, no how, that you would be able to take all this information and sort it all out and “know how to do this.”

The reality is, you are not taught how to eat as a woman over 40, because we’ve never really addressed you specifically.  Most weight loss information is based on science done on young men and does not translate to us women over 40.

Thinking that you should know how to do this is not true.

It’s ok to ask for guidance and a plan. It’s ok to raise your hand and go, “I don’t know how to do this, you do. Show me!”

Shouldy Weight Loss Thought #2:

“I should be able to do this on my own.”

Is that true?  I mean really true?

Should you be able to do everything on your own?

This is a negative punishing thought that stems from the damaging root thought, “I am a failure. There is something wrong with me.”

The false impression that everyone else is succeeding on their own, and you again, do not deserve to ask for help.

There is nothing wrong with just you.

You do not need to be able to do this on your own.

In fact, this is such a lie, because the opposite is true.  Success in something lies in getting guidance, support, teaching, help, and community.

Nothing is done better in punishing isolation. 

Shouldy Weight Loss Thought #3:

“I should have figured this out by now.”

Is that true?

Girl, no one has health and nutrition all figured out, ok?

We are always learning new things, rewriting the old rules, and making up new rules.  There is always stuff and parts we don’t understand.

There is no time limit in going deeper and knowing yourself more and more. 

Plus things change over time! Most of the things you thought you knew about eating at twenty and thirty do not apply to you anymore over forty. You can’t put a time limit on when you should have figured yourself out.

It’s a journey that keeps evolving.

Weight Loss Thoughts To Think Instead

Here is what we are going to think instead.

Instead of, “I should know how to do this.” We are going to take a deep breath and think, “it’s safe for me to ask for help.”

Instead of, “I should be able to do this on my own.” We are going to take a deep breath and think, “It’s safe for me to ask for help.”

Instead of, “I should have this figured out by now.” We are going to take a deep breath and think, “it’s safe for me to ask for help.”

This is how we stop “shoulding” all over our weight loss journey.

We drop the false thoughts and tell ourselves, “It’s safe to ask for help.”

This is what we do in the Freese Method.

We guide. We support. We help. 

We gather around you and show that it’s safe to ask for help. 

The help is very good. 

And it’s good that you asked for help because it’s easier that way. 

If you are ready to ask for help, it’s time to join the program and get the best help, the best guidance, and the best support out there.

Click the link to learn how to get started.